I am warned that my enthusiasm for blogging will soon diminish, but why not take advantage of it while it lasts...
As I have been considering what it means to love and seek the Lord with ALL my heart, the issue of trust has come up in regards to my future, my family, and my heart!
For as long as I can remember I have been trusting my abilities..my desires...my limited perception to decided my future. That was working for me, until God reminded me that He also has a plan for my future and His is much better than mine. You see, He has taken some things away from me, in order to realign my heart's trust. At first I felt insecure about not having "set plan" for the next years to come. But I was reminded softly by my Savior that the safest place to live is in the Will of God. I am still unsure as to what that looks like at this point, but I am utterly content in waiting for Him to reveal his good and perfect will. And that's something you can pray for me about. That I would continue to grow as I learn, through experience, how to trust my God.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I love living here in Hungary but, as life goes on at home, sometimes it is very difficult to be away from my family. My heart can only break when I can't hug my mom when she is frustrated, or hold my little brother's hand when he has emergency surgery. I was having a really hard time lately. My desire to be home with my family was overwhelming my mind and taking priority in my thought life. Praying and thinking of my family isn't wrong unless it takes the place of God in my heart...which it was starting to do. Quiet time today was in Luke 14:25-35 and it was the passage that said "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."
In this passage, Jesus isn't talking about bitter feelings, or animosity, but rather priorities. I will always love my family, but my love for God should come first.
OK, so the main issue in all that was, I was worried about my family, and truly, I wasn't trusting God with my family. In my heart of hearts I was saying, "God, they need ME not YOU!" How foolish!
All this comes down to issue of trust. I trust my strength, which always fades. I trust my knowledge, which pales in comparison to God's. And as I continue to place my heart for my family and future into the hands of MY own strength and knowledge..I am setting myself up for failure.
God is everything, period. So why am I not willing to give him my ALL...all my heart, all my worries. All my trust should be in Him.
Luke 14:33 "In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples."
I want to be His disciple! And so, I give him everything. Family, Future, and most of all my heart.
That's all.
straight from my heart to yours...
Nicole, this is awesome, the perfect thing for a writer to do! We love you and wish you were here, too. But we know that you are where God wants you to be and He WILL give you His plan in His perfect timing. We are praying with you and although we really want you here, we have a greater desire for you to be where God wants you to be. Remember, He will also give you the desires of your heart! We love and miss you!!!!
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